While Joseph Smith was in Liberty Jail, he was at his darkest moment – the Latter-day Saint movement was collapsing all around him. His people were homeless, forsaken, and he was imprisoned with very little hope and no control over events that seemed to be ending his fledgling religion.

According to the accounts of his cellmates, while they were busy writing letters to their families, Joseph entered a meditative state and began writing a revelation from God, which is now recorded in Sections 121-123 of the Doctrine and Covenants. In this revelation, God explains to him that things could be worse and that the Savior experienced far worse in His mortal journey. Joseph is reminded that God is Almighty and will not let the movement die because it is God’s movement, not Joseph’s. While that outcome proved true, I can only imagine the initial reaction this revelation evoked within his fellow cellmates in their hopeless and pitiable situation. It was probably hard to believe at first, but it had its desired effect, as can be seen from a shared statement from them:

“We have been abused and buffeted without mercy, and have been insulted and slandered without provocation; and have had all manner of indignities heaped upon us… notwithstanding all this, we are still alive and are resolved to endure to the end.”

There is a wealth of wisdom in all three sections, but my focus will be on verses 34-46 in Section 121. I plan to unpack all thirteen verses, but it is simply unbelievable that a treasure trove of wisdom is captured in this incredibly dark and miserable moment in Joseph’s history. There is no doubt in my mind that these words come from the Almighty God who delivered them from their prison a few weeks after this revelation.

Called vs Chosen

34 Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?

Traditionally, the concept of being called in these verses refers to being called to serve as a priesthood holder in the church. At the time, it wasn’t a rite of passage for young men as they grew into adulthood, like it is today. A calling was issued to a man by his local priesthood leader.

The priesthood concept of callings and offices was new to the saints. Because the calling process felt personal and specific, it is easy to see why someone would feel special or even elevated above others who had not received the calling. This basic construct still exists today, where there is a certain feeling of importance and elevation that can be felt by being called to positions in the church. It can happen with Bishops, Relief Society Presidents, and Mission Presidents. It happens on missions with District Leaders, Zone Leaders, and Assistants to the President.

I find it very interesting and important that almost in the middle of this important revelation to Joseph about how the new movement and restored church would survive, the Lord lays out the fundamental challenge that we all face when it comes to authority and stewardship. He lays out those challenges we faced when given authority.

However, I’d like us to frame our review of this first verse by altering how we define being called or chosen.

First, let’s consider a broader view of authority when considering what it means to be called. Here are some relevant examples:

• Ancestral Authority – When we become parents, we become the most important spiritual authority in our children’s lives. We then maintain that authority as we become grandparents and then great-grandparents.
• Church Authority – We now know that all callings in the church are priesthood callings; it isn’t exclusive to male-driven offices of the priesthood.
• Political Authority – I am sure you laughed at this one, but being a leader of a community of people is very relevant.
• Business Authority – A business is a small community with many constituents, and I believe it is also applicable to consider.

Second, let’s replace authority with stewardship. When we use the word authority, we are describing an individual’s power; when we use the word stewardship, we are describing who and what we are responsible for.

Third, let’s examine the term chosen in these verses. Whenever I read or hear the term chosen, it feels like God, or someone external, is choosing us, but I want us to consider the opposite for our study. I believe that being called comes from external selection; being chosen comes from our own choices. It evolves from our actions and ideals that we intentionally make as the foundation of our lives.

Rights of the Stewardship

35 Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men, that they do not learn this one lesson—

36 That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness.

Most people believe that authority gives them the right to do what they want to do, and to many, that is used to satisfy their own goals and ambitions, or to increase their status among their peers. This is largely because authority comes with decision-making responsibility, so it is natural for us to feel relieved that we can decide what we want to do.

However, if we instead view these as rights of stewardship, then it makes more sense that when we exercise those rights (make decisions) for the benefit of those we are responsible for, our decisions will be accompanied inseparably with the power of heaven. This is why viewing authority through the lens of stewardship is so important; our stewardship is God delegating His stewardship to us, and He wants to delegate His power to help us.

Once we view authority as delegated stewardship from God, then we can understand that His power is only present and valuable if it is handled by the principles of righteousness. Fortunately, God knew that “principle of righteousness” was much to vague to trust to millions of people’s interpretations and so he actually gave us the definition of what “principles of righteousness” actually means.

I love lists, all thanks to my mother, who is the master of lists. I find them an amazing way to organize thoughts and see priorities more clearly. So the good news is that the Lord gives us a list of what not to do’s and what to do. He starts off with what not to do.

What Not To Do

37 That they may be conferred upon us (authority), it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.

38 Behold, ere he is aware, he is left unto himself, to kick against the pricks, to persecute the saints, and to fight against God.

39 We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.

40 Hence many are called, but few are chosen.

Parenting is our most important stewardship, but it is so hard. Being a steward for a being that has the power to progress and grow past anything you have or are is a big responsibility. It is our most important stewardship, our most difficult stewardship, but also our most rewarding.

I think that at the root of what makes it difficult is that there are many different cycles of what our stewardship entails. For years, our children are helpless and can only survive without us doing everything for them. Then they mimic and absorb everything from us for years (good and bad) and morph into their own mini-person. After that, they begin to be influenced by people outside of us (friends, school, social media, mentors, church leaders), and so they start to see the world through their own eyes, and they stop needing us as much. Then they move on to complete independence from us for many years, until finally they come back to needing our mentorship and guidance as they experience parenting with their own kids.

So let’s review the three “do nots” in the context of parenting.

Cover our Sins

In my opinion, there is nothing more important in our stewardship with our kids than to show a pattern of admitting our mistakes and asking for forgiveness. We speak all the time about the atonement, we tell our kids to have a relationship with Jesus, and unfortunately, we then spend most of our time focused on rules and consequences as our primary form of parenting. It isn’t that rules and consequences shouldn’t be part of our parenting process; it is that we are not showing our kids a true pattern of what it means to benefit from the atonement, why we as parents need Jesus even now, and that we really don’t always know what we are doing.

When our first parents were confronted by God about their transgression, they responded like this –

1. They hid
2. Adam blamed Eve (someone he loved)
3. Eve blamed Satan (the world)

This scene from the Garden of Eden may not have happened historically, but it is one of the most important commentaries on our relationship with sin that has ever been written.

When we sin, our first instinct is to hide it, to try to make sure know one finds out. If we are caught, our next instinct is to blame someone we love. When that is not possible or proven untrue, we want to blame circumstances or someone else. This is true FOR EVERYONE.

The key to accessing the powers of heaven, and in this case, the powers of the atonement with our children, we must be willing to admit when we make mistakes and ask for forgiveness. The pattern is helpful to us, of course, but it is also helpful because the spirit is usually its most powerful when redemption is happening. When we reconcile with our kids by asking their forgiveness, it produces a real connection, and the powers of heaven are felt.

Gratify our Pride or Vain Ambition

At first glance, this may not seem like a common failing of parents; most of us are sacrificing money, time, energy, worry, and pain to benefit the lives of our children. That is what makes it all the more detrimental to our relationship with our kids when we do seek to gratify our pride or our own ambitions to the detriment of our relationship with them.

I think we often underestimate our children’s ability to recognize our motives as they become teenagers and adults. They go through a transition as they approach their independence, where they begin to look at our actions and directives with skepticism. It can be very frustrating as parents, but it is also a critical moment for our relationship with them. They will sense when we are trying to win an argument, or when we are listening to their point of view, and as just trying to assist them in making the decision for themselves. What if, after they hear our opinion, they still want to make a different decision?

The real question is, would we rather be right or would we rather be a trusted mentor and a valued relationship? Sometimes we can’t be both, and we have to subordinate our pride and let them think for themselves. It hurts when our kids begin to separate from us in the way they see the world, when they prioritize their friends, their spouses, or even worse, their spouse’s family! When we give in to that hurt and seek to prioritize our own pride or ambitions, we will make that separation wider and maybe even more permanent.

Separation is one of the goals of Satan. When we subordinate our pride and ambitions for the relationship, we keep a connection with our children, and it shows them that we love them unconditioned, by their degree of connection with us, because our connection with them is worth more than being right.

Exercise – to any degree of unrighteousness – control, dominion, or compulsion over our stewardship

The foundation of Latter-day Saint beliefs is the idea that Jesus was chosen to be our savior to protect and secure our agency. That compulsion and control, even for the reason of making someone do the right thing, is against the plan of God. This is a tough one as our kids get more independent. They can be complete idiots with almost no life experience, and it is scary to think of them making all the decisions that lie ahead of them (conveniently forgetting our parents felt the same way about us).

When we control too much or unrighteously, we can either create children who will break under the weight of making their own decisions, or will rebel against all of our ideas over the conflict that comes from them trying to break free of our control. These two outcomes are not our goals.

It is way too difficult for me to define where the line is between having consequences for our children’s actions and where we need to allow complete independence; that is probably not possible to do exactly right, and it is probably different in every situation. I do want us to remember that this principle – that we cannot exercise control, dominion, or compulsion over our kids in any degree of unrighteousness – is something we must include in our thought processes as we do our best to guide our children through life.

Kicking Against the Pricks

The Lord doesn’t always give consequences with lists in the scriptures, but we are blessed in this instance with a clear set of ramifications when we cover our sins, gratify our pride/ambition, or when we exercise unrighteous control over our children.

The powers of heaven withdraw, and we are left alone to kick against the pricks.

I have always loved the phrase – kick against the pricks – and to give a brief explanation may be helpful. A prick is a very sharp stick used to prod oxen forward. You can see an example of a prick, or a goad, in the post picture. If an ox does not like the prodding, it would often kick backwards, but it would only hurt itself more with the prick being right there when it kicked. The term is often used to describe a situation where, when we fight against God, we are only injuring ourselves, as He is simply trying to move us forward.

The difference in this particular usage is that when we are kicking against the pricks, we are being described as being alone, and if we are alone and kicking against the pricks long enough, we will eventually fight against our stewardship and against God.

I have thought a lot about why this is the case. I believe it comes down to the pain we feel when we are abandoned, or when we feel we are betrayed. When the powers of heaven withdraw, and the natural consequences of our actions create separation from our stewardship, and we lose our authority, we get angry and begin to blame everyone else, including God, for our exile. It creates a downward spiral of pain and anger that makes kicking against the pricks a very relevant metaphor.

These ramifications are extreme, but rightfully so, as a stewardship over God’s children is an extreme responsibility. The good news is that the Lord has also given us a list of actions we can take to assist us in accessing the powers of heaven in our stewardships.

What To Do

41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—

These explanations will be more brief and include a contrasting word that fits in line with the don’ts above.

• Persuasion over Manipulation
  • Persuasion requires us to listen, to relate, and to focus on sharing true and relevant information with positive benefits as the source of convincing.
  • Manipulation includes assumptions, twisted truths, fear, and negative consequences as the source of convincing.
• Long Suffering over Immediate Results
  • God is playing the long game. He knows the path His children may take are winding and hard. Therefore, as we are stewards acting in his stead, we need to play the long game as well. It is also important to know that it is no surprise that suffering is the companion word to long. This kind of stewardship – where we take the long game – will bring suffering. Results will not be immediate. On the other hand, the don’ts are very immediate-results-driven, and are designed to avoid any suffering.
• Gentleness and Meekness over Aggression and Arrogance
  • Hundreds of studies show that when aggressive language is used in delivering a message, it causes initial feelings of threat and what psychologists call reactance.
  • Reactance Theory, originally developed by Jack Brehm, explains that when people perceive their freedom of choice is threatened, they often respond with resistance, anger, or oppositional behavior.
• Love Unfeigned over Love as Leverage
  • Trust and love are not the same thing, but when someone loses trust that our love is reliable, then that love becomes feigned or fake in their mind. Losing trust in our love is most likely to occur when it feels like our love is conditioned upon behavior or actions we agree with.
• Kindness over Meanness
  • It is better to be kind than right. That is our family motto. I just don’t think there is ever an excuse to say mean things to those we are a steward over, no matter how angry they make us.
• Pure Knowledge over Hypocrisy and Lies
  • Sometimes, because this is the last point on the list, we overlook the importance of this principle. Obtaining pure knowledge is a lot of work; it takes more time than 30-second snippets on social media. Pure knowledge makes us reliable and worth listening to. It also takes listening, research, discernment, and conversations to refine our ideas, but most of all, it takes time and a willingness to admit our knowledge can change. When we act like we know everything and we don’t, then we are hypocritical or maybe even lying if we do it intentionally.
  • It is also a great idea to solicit information and opinions from those who you are a steward over, as this is a great way to increase knowledge and to build trust.

Handling Conflict in Stewardship

43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

44 That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.

I cannot overstate the importance of reconciliation in our relationships. I have written about it before, but it is not realistic to think conflict can be avoided in our relationships, especially when there is a stewardship involved. Conflict or disagreements are not bad on their surface, but they do often lead to separation in our relationships. That is why reconciliation is just as important as the dos and don’ts.

Whenever we experience a conflict, or whenever we must exercise our authority in a way that may hurt someone we love, we MUST follow that up with not just love, but an increase of love. We must shift our mindset away from the conflict and to the relationship, and keep it connected. Whenever we have a conflict with someone who knows that we love them, first, the message is more likely to be accepted, and second, the reconciliation can actually strengthen the relationship even more.

Powers of Heaven

45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine (rights) of the priesthood (powers of heaven) shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.

46 The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.

At the end of the day, when we have a stewardship, and we genuinely care about those we are responsible for, and more importantly, we care about the purpose of our stewardship, then we need the powers of heaven to help us. It is too hard to do it on our own, and when we try to do it on our own, we tend to make things worse.

I believe with full certainty that God loves those I am a steward over as much, if not more, than I do. I need his help.

He has promised that those powers will come to us when we avoid the don’ts and when we focus on the dos.

There are too many hurt and fractured relationships in this world, and my prayer is that the broken relationships can be reconciled, and those that are not broken can be strengthened.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Podcasts

• Faith Matters Podcast: Encouraging faithful inquiry amid complexity.
• Comeback Podcast: Sharing Stories of those who left the church and came back.
• Unshaken with Jared Halverson: In-depth historical and doctrinal studies for those wrestling with tough questions.
• Leading Saints: Insights into modern leadership and discipleship, often addressing nuanced challenges.

Books

• Saints: The Story of the Church of Jesus Christ in the Latter Days (Vols. 1–2): Thorough Church history, incorporating modern research.
• Planted by Patrick Q. Mason: A compassionate approach to faith challenges.
• The Crucible of Doubt by Terryl and Fiona Givens: Thoughtful exploration of faith reconstruction.
• Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Lyman Bushman: A deeply researched biography reflecting Joseph’s certainty and complexity.
• Making Sense of the Doctrine and Covenants by Steven C. Harper: A summary of the history and context for each section of the Doctrine and Covenants.

Blogs and Articles

• Gospel Essays: Accessible discussions suited for individual and group study.
• Faith Matters: Engages contemporary faith topics with candor.